Not Trying To Hurt Your Feelings Or Anything, But Really..

All of my life I have heard people spouting these pointless little platitudes, hell, I've been guilty of doing it myself. During a conversation with a good friend earlier today we were mocking one such old saying and afterwards I couldn't help but spend some time thinking about the ignorance behind so many of them. Fundamentally breaking them down in my weakened mental state. So, here we go.

The grass is always greener on the other side. Okay, clearly this is meant as a warning to us that we shouldn't want what others have since just because we think what is over there is better doesn't make it so. Hey, dumbshits who still use this saying, we don't want their fucking grass. Well, I should rephrase, most of us don't covet anyone else's grass and if it's grass someone covets, they probably want it already dried and weighed. So, this saying is outdated, at best. Second, if your life is so shitty that you're sitting around envying someone elses proverbial grass, then yeah, their fucking grass probably is greener, so get off your ass and fertilize your own grass, for fuck's sake people, how long do you have to read this blog to realize Wickedness only comes when you stop feeling sorry for yourself and MAKE things happen. *dramatic sigh* Moving on.



Be careful what you wish for or you might get it. So, just to be clear on this, don't wish for herpes or you just might get it. Are we clear on that? Good. Seriously though. What.The.Fuck. I mean, who sits around wishing for something so detrimental that the minute they get it they go, "Whoa, this isn't what I signed up for, no, no, take it back please"? I have yet to meet that person. In general, the people I meet who made their wishes come true feel a sense of pride and fulfillment. Call me crazy, but I think this saying is bullshit.



Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. That sounds like a great idea. After all, we all want to be closely surrounded by people we know dislike us, right? Ill will and discord abound constantly. What better way to live our lives? How about we go with "keep your friends close and forget your enemies exist"? Yes, I like that much better. What the hell is an enemy anyway, don't those only exist in spy movies??!!



A watched pot never boils. Maybe this saying was made up before the existence of basic physics?? Whatever the case may be, let's try to decipher what the basic idea is behind the saying. I am working with it as, leave things be and they will develop as they should, but if you sit over them and fuss, you interfering will stop the natural progression. Yes? (I am seeing in my fuzzy little brain a collection of nodding heads) Right, so, here's the thing, the fucking pot is going to boil whether you watch or not, if something is meant to happen, it will happen whether you are there or not. Don't believe me, go boil some fucking water. Don't move, stare at that bitch the whole time, guess what? It's going to boil anyway!



Money can't buy happiness. Stop shopping at Walmart. Because one trip to Tiffany's will so change your mind. Bloomingdales makes my heart sing. Just seeing Jimmy Choo's updated seasonal info in my inbox makes me giggle. Trust me, it may not be love, but money can so buy happy!! You simply haven't been shopping in the right places.

I want to let you know that starting this Wednesday I will be doing Wicked Fun Wednesdays!! Submit a Wicked good question through the formspringme box in the right column, I will select 10 questions for the Wednesday post. I promise to make the answers worth coming to see. ;-) You just have to make them worthy of me choosing. Hope you are up to the challenge my Wicked readers.