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Saturday, February 27, 2010

I Hit My Head.........

No, seriously, I fell and hit my fucking head. So, to set the scene, joining friends and family for dinner at a nice restaurant last night. Gathered for a few pre-dinner drinks. I behaved myself and stuck to 2 very small, very slow paced glasses of wine.

Arrived for dinner, I stuck with wine, (a super delicious Riesling, by the way, yuummmmyyy) had some bread, sipped slowly, enjoyed the company, had a delicious meal, then decided to step out on the patio for fresh air and to pollute my lungs with a Wicked bit of nicotine (the horror).

I was joined outside by a couple who walked over and positioned themselves directly in front of me in such a way that it was impossible not to either speak or split them like a linebacker and make a run for it. My mind is still a tiny fuzzy but here is a go at it:

Me: Hi
She: Hi there, you from here?
Me: Yes, this general area. You guys?
He: No, we're just down for the day from Indy, going home tomorrow.
Me: Nice, business?
He: No, just came down for dinner and stuff. (at this point She looks at He as if to call Bullshit, then turns her gaze back to me, serious tension and She is seriously d-r-u-n-k)
She: Actually, we came down here to make twins. (now He is looking at She like he wants to slap a bitch)
Me: Yeah, I never could conceive in Indy either (ok, not my best, but these are total fucking strangers playing out their fucking drama after cornering me WTF!! I'm just trying to lighten the tone a little)
She: Oh, it's not that, he just needs a little help.
Me: (wince) Well, good luck with all that, I'm going to get in out of this cold, ya'll enjoy the rest of your trip. (forced smile)
He: Thanks, sorry.

Now is where it gets just super fucking fabulous, as he moves so I can step over to the ashtray, I have to take an awkward step to maneuver between him and a concrete pillar. In doing so, the heel of my shoe got caught in a crack and, yep, you guessed it..........I fucking went down. Only I didn't just fall a little, I hit my head so hard on the fucking concrete that I was disoriented. Call me Brett Favre, we can relate now, talk football and concussions. Holy hell.

At first I was just concerned about my shoe. Duh! Were you expecting something else? But, it was fine. Then I realized my knee really hurt. Which made sense, because it looks worse than my head. But, I really don't think it can be blamed for the sudden overwhelming need to sleep, or the waves of nausea that followed. The inability to remember or explain what had happened. The whole thing was made worse by the fact that everyone with me was intoxicated and thought I was just drunk. Ummm, hello, I can't drink that much anymore because of my meds!!!

So, yeah, I spent the night hoping that I wasn't going to die because I wasn't really sure if you can die from a concussion but I couldn't remember what my neurologist's name was or find my phone so I figured it was just a matter of hope and luck. It also occurred to me at one point in the wee hours of the morning during a round of nausea that severe blows to the head are of more significance to epileptics, I am almost certain I saw that on his office walls one time, when I was really bored and reading those posters. Fucking posters.

The good news is, I can now feel the pain of the lovely lump on my forehead, can almost walk a straight line, and I remember most of the small details and all of the major details of last night. Survival baby!! Wicked rough night. Also, the woman on the patio at the restaurant, can you say, COUNSELING???!!!! Hope your weekend is going a hellluva lot better than mine!!!


Anonymous said...

It is really not fair or right to laugh at your fall... but I did. That's just how I roll ;0)

I hope the concrete was OK... I'm very concerned.


Elly Lou said...

Ok first - did you know that ED could be mean? I thought she was all about the politically correct bunnies and cartoon hearts! She's getting all rowdy. I like it.

Second - Oh Muffin! I know you take blows to the head all the time (TWSS) but really stay away from the concrete, k?

Wicked Shawn said...

ED- Called restaurant to make sure they weren't going to sue me for any damages done to patio, whew! All good. Smartass!! ;)

Elly- ED is officially practiced at the craft of Wickedness, I love it!!
As for me, I am slowly getting less dopey, although, I cannot be held responsible for the lack of coherence of comments today. I may or may not make sense at various points. Ugh. I am still walking into shit. Kind of funny, except the whole "yes, you can die from it" speech I got from my nurse mom last night. Oooops.

Athol Kay: Married Man Sex LIfe said...

Oy... sounds like you had a concussion.

Wicked Pen said...

ok. what the hell??? you go outside to smoke, walking normally, and come back in unable to walk and talk.... NO ONE THOUGHT SOMETHING COULD BE WRONG?? nice.

love of her life- you are in the dog house. you drunk birthday bastard. being the drunken birthday boy does not exempt you from your duties as love of her life. sheesh. can't take you ANYWHERE.

ED- it WAS hilarious. i laughed too ;-) but people falling down is plain funny, no matter the injury to the person or the object.

WS- i love ya. hope your head feels better soon. i'm glad they didn't have to roll your dead body in a rug and dump you in the river. that river is sooo gross.


Phoenixism said...

Well that is certainly a unique Anti-Smoking PSA you left us with there Shawn.

secret agent woman said...


But maybe you gave the couple something else to talk about, which was really a kindness on your part.

A Mother's Thoughts said...

I am mortified for you!! I can only think that good thing you were disoriented for a minute or it could of a hell of a lot worse emotionally. What did they say when you got back to the table? Were they like WTF, were you just in a fight!! That's intense, I hope you feel better.......your gonna need alot more to drink to remember that incident!


KeepingYouAwake said...

Bunch Indy weirdo's trying to make twins with you... Common. It happened to me just moments ago, I think.

Why is that anyone who steps out to represent IN, or Indy is trouble?!? That's crap. I'm well balanced!!!

Ok, well that's not a good arrangement, but you know what I mean.

The Absence of Alternatives said...

Are you still here???!!! I am sorry that I didn't check in until now so you probably are ok. So it's probably good that I didn't check in till now cause I'd make you go to ER to make sure you don't have a you know conc something a word I can't remember how to spell cause I'm a bit drunk. For real! And I hate tapping on stupid iPhone but I just want to make sure you are ok. Sorry!!