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Saturday, February 6, 2010

Sexual Addiction, Really? I Need More Information...

Okay, first let me share with you how this post came into existence, sad as the case may be, you should just enjoy the pathetic workings of the inner Shawn. Last week, as the whole world knows, was doppleganger week on FB. (yes, I know, we high-minded bloggers are supposed to be above FB, but I don't bother with pretense, remember?)Turns out, none of us could figure out who I was supposed to look like. Then I found a website where you upload a picture of yourself, it runs it through a facial feature program and matches it up to your celebrity look alike. Mine was Tea Leoni.

I'm okay with that, I suppose, although, girlfriend needs some implants to keep up with me, otherwise, I guess she could pass for me. Mostly, I am letting it slide because she is married to David Duchovney, star of Californication. Greatest Showtime Original show ever.

Granted, he's a little old for me, but age is relative, after all, he is experienced. Apparently, very experienced. Long rumored to be a sex addict, David has confirmed his affinity for hotel porn(ok), lustful feelings(ok), numerous sex partners while he was single(ok), voyuerism(ok) and frequent masrurbation(ok). There have been rumors of him seeking treatment for sexual addiction, but I couldn't confirm them. There were also rumors of numrous affairs after he and Tea were married. Again, I couldn't confirm. He did confirm frequenting strip clubs (gasp) after he was married. Uhhh, doesn't that go back to lustful feelings? Which I already ok'd.

So far, what the rest of the world is calling sex addiction is just sounding like a guy who was honest. Uuh, his bad? Maybe this is why we have so many guys hiding in basements watching their porn in the dark feeling like freaks. Just sayin.

Let's see what the experts have to say about it......
Sex addiction has been defined as experiencing compulsive sexual thoughts and acts that negatively impact a person's life. The book Synopsis of Psychiatry says sex addicts are unable to control their sexual impulses, from their fantasies to actual behavior.

The physiological disorder has recently been the focus of the media, thanks to celebrities like Tiger Woods, David Duchovny and Eric Bennett -- married men who've been accused of multiple affairs with women.

An estimated 16 million Americans are sex addicts. Just as individuals become hooked on drugs or alcohol, sex becomes a rush a person can't live without. Medical experts are increasingly recognizing it as a disorder. But the most recent version of The American Psychiatric Association's diagnostic manual, a bible among psychologists, doesn't recognize it.

Well, now it's clear as mud. For the record, The Synopsis of Psychiatry is in it's 10th Edition, it is a broadly used text book, used by students, residents and practitioners alike. It's not some Random House Author of the Week book.

But it's definition of sex addiction made me pause. Isn't all sex really just a matter of what happens when our impulse finally pushes us past the point of the fantasy, the imagined, onward to the act. The definition didn't say that these acts were of a deviant nature. They said there was no chemical reliance. Negatively impacting one's life. well, that means anyone who had an affair for purely sexual reasons can now fall under the sexual addiction category, right? Even if it was only one person and they only slept together 6 times. They acted on an uncontrollable sexual impulse despite it's negative impact on their life.

Shady grounds. Too much ambiguity. More excuses. Are there people out there with serious sexual illnesses. Oh hell yeah! But, generally speaking, those individuals are diagnosed with other mental illnesses as well, OCD, manic depressive disorder, narcissism, the list goes on. Not to mention that we are talking about sexually dysfunctional people, disturbed, as in, child molesters, rapists, those types. Sex addicts, if there is such a thing, are not those guys and gals.

So, I started my day looking like, according to some random computer program, Tea Leoni, and ended it pondering sexual depravity and disorders. I love Fridays.


Wicked Pen said...

and that, my friends, is what you call a full circle day.


Anonymous said...

that's a very interesting Friday you were having!! I have been diagnosed with OCD... what does that say about me ;0)

secret agent woman said...

The DSM-IV is the definitive source. Sexual addiction is not an accepted diagnosis. As a psychologist, the whole trend of labelling any compulsive behavior an "addiction" makes me want to tear my hair out. (Which, if I did that compulsively, would be trichotillomania, an actual disorder.) Calling behavioral issues addictions allows people to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. What you are really dealing with in these cases is personality pathology.

Wicked Shawn said...

Pen- At least I was decisive enough to reach a conclusion. :P

ED- Oh dearie, I think it means you could potentially wash your hands too much. :))

SA- That was my understanding as well. Therefore to treat someone for an "addiction or illness" that isn't even recognized in that book is essentially to be treating someone for a made up condition. Pardon the unprofessional language, but it seems unprofessional to do such a thing. I feel as though our society has jumped on the bandwagon of making it too easy for people to pass off bad behavior and poor self control as some sort of "illness".

Elly Lou said...

If I am addicted to anything, it's Facebook. Ok and Justin Timberlake but who isn't?

Aunt Juicebox said...

I think everybody has at some point in their life, experienced a sexual compulsion. I think that's part of being a human (or an animal, I have a friend who'd neutered cat humps her kids stuffed animals). I like porn, I like naked men, I like a lot of sex - does that make me abnormal? Highly unlikely. I think it was made up by people who think they need an excuse for wanting to bone a lot of people and still stay married.

Phoenixism said...

To WS:

Sexual addiction = a cure for the daily blogging addiction

Wicked Shawn said...

Elly- Shhh, our affinity for FB is supposed to be a secret, JT is doable, in a sexual compulsion kind of way

Aunt J- I think that it is the typical pathology of our society in modern times. Excuse behaviors that SOME deem unacceptable by labeling them as an illness. Not all "sex addicts" are married or even in a relationship.

Cold Shower- My name is Shawn, I am here to show you that it is quite possible to do both at the same time. ;-) Well, not at the same time, but, have both compulsions at the same time, not have sex while blogging, that would just be insulting.

Anonymous said...

so glad you sent me here thru formspring!

you've def made me rethink my original opinion on this. i can sorta see this as an excuse thing for bad behavior now. but the jury is still out for me.

what i question is the chemical relativity. sex def creates a high and produces chemicals (endorphins, adrenaline, oxy, well maybe not oxy) that i think are just the same as any drug or substance produces. so i could see a real addiction forming there. more so than compulsive gambling or shopping, anyway.

tiger could have a disorder. but david's was just a publicity stunt to promote the last season of the greatest show on showtime earth.