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Friday, February 12, 2010

Thorny Thursday

This has been one of those days that makes me want to walk up to strangers and poke them somewhere painful, just to see their reaction.

I see all of the hearts and love and diamonds and sentimental stuff everywhere and it's all very sweet and I wonder " how many millions of dollars are made off of making single people feel inadequate?".

I don't even fall into that category, mind you. Not feeling inadequate. Have awesome plans for both nights this weekend and Sunday, as well. Will probably get flowers, will definitely be getting the sex, the chocolate vaginas are already in the mail (hell to the yeah!), it's not about me. I have several friends who are single and they are already starting the pre Vday misery walk. You know the one, where their tits suddenly look saggy and tow cup sizes smaller because their shoulders are slumped over.

I say we just call the whole fucking thing off!! I can do without it. I think all women who know they will get something, just call up whatever guy they will get something from and say no to the bullshit! Do it for our single friends. Stop rubbing your non-manless status in their faces. It's a cunt move anyway, really. Does your ass need that box of chocolates? Really?? Or is he hoping to fatten you up a little to keep you off the market? Just sayin. These Alphas, you can't trust the bastards as far as you throw them.

Flower deliveries at work, what fucking bullshit! I never had my guy deliver flowers to me at work, they were always hand delivered at home. At work flower deliveries are obscene. It's screaming "I can get a man" or it's a man screaming "She's mine, don't take her". Either way, ugly. I can live without the roses. I like orchids better anyway. Besides, if it's a show of solidarity, I can live without anything for one day. Dinner out. Uh, hello, Topomax, I'm going to pick at some overpriced food that I ordered then leave, can definitely do without that.

I would love to see Hallmark go out of business, blame it on the economy, but with all of the bullshit holidays they have created, it's time for them to go. I need a break. I want them to go down in a pink and red heart shaped flame!!!

The Sex, well, I'm having my sex whether it's Vday or not and one has nothing to do with the other, so Fuck You!


Phoenixism said...

Hell yeah Shawn, you go!!

As much as I'd love to see Hallmark go belly up, it wouldn't matter because some other bogus BS company would step in to make a fortune off the sheep.

I resent the expectation more than anything. I hate being told when or how I'm supposed to celebrate anything. Excuse me?

Paul Wynn said...

I thought sex on V-day was more pleasurable because its when the guy gets you something nice and therefore you do something uh nice.

Elly Lou said...

SO....this is probably not the time to ask if you'll be my valentine, eh?

Miss Spoken said...

Valentine's Day is pointless, especially here in the convent. What, you didn't know that I'm a Catholic nun?

Wicked Shawn said...

Cold Shower- I know they would attempt, bt once the sheep follow my Wicked little ass, the replacement vendor would fall on their corporate sleaze forthwith!

Paul- You, my dear, are sexing the wrong girls! ;)

Elly- I will be your Valentine, but sex and chocolate vaginas are the only thing we are exchanging!!

Miss Nun- yeah, I got nothing else, just that.

secret agent woman said...

You know what really irks me? Are the commercials for flowers or jewelry or what have you that say, "Your friends will be jealous." What? What kind of friend are you if that's your goal?

Wicked Pen said...

i always say that v-day is the one day a year single people have to be miserable, and all those others are miserable the other 364!

but then again, i'm always single on v-day. WTF.



Wicked Shawn said...

SA- Exactly, not a friend at all, just a petty individual.

Pen- Flawed theory, I am neither single every vday nor unhappy the other 364. Fact is, vday is just an imaginary holiday, no need for anyone to be happier or more unhappy on that day than on any other. I'm calling bullshit!