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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Wicked Girls.....Time to Stand Up

Ok, the time has come, stand up, fists in the air, raise your voices as one, remind them we are here. Sometimes men should be seen and not heard. Sometimes they should be heard and not seen. Sometimes women should be neither seen nor heard. Follow me down the rabbit hole boys and girls............

Tim Tebow

Ok, I don't even want to get into the fact that MR Tebow is against a WOMAN's right to choose. We will skip past that and go straight to the heart of the matter. What is the best part of Super Bowl commercials? Laughing our fucking asses off. Raise your hand if you think this shit is going to be funny....I'm sorry, what is this? Oh, the deafening silence that will be heard around the world on Sunday night. Nice. Exactly. Might I suggest that we all change the fucking channel the minute this bullshit preachy preachy ad begins to air. A big FUCK YOU to CBS and Focus on the Family, the uber conservative group who purchased the $2.5 million ad to air during the super bowl. Timmy boy, you play football. If you wanted to save fetuses, you should have had mum put you through med school. Moving on.

Jamie Foxx
You have to just sit through a minute of this, you will understand.

Ok, Jamie, honey, not that I think you are reading this, but dayummm, come on, what the fuck, keep that shit on one of those Kanye mics that fix your voice before we hear what it really sounds like or something. Fuck! Or just stand there and flex. Stop ruining shit. Definitely meant to be seen and not heard. Not live anyway, let Jay Z handle your stuff before it hits the general population boy, please.

Next up......

Greg Oden

Admittedly, I am torn on this one. Here is why, the man is seriously packing the goods, so you can't fault him for being all, sing it with me now...."here I am baby, signed, sealed, delivered"....however, the girl the pix were sent to says, and he admitted during his apology, that the pix were unsolicited. Ok, back the bus the fuck up. DUDE! You don't just attack somebody with your naked goods unexpectedly like that. Hell to the no! While you guys may think it's smokin' hot to get some random naked pic in the middle of the day, not from an ex, the phrase "that crazy bitch is stalking me" comes to mind. Well, guess what? No girl wants to get hit by the schlong when she opens her inbox. WTF???!!! Apology not accepted. You, Mr. Oden, should be neither seen nor heard!!

Next on the list.....
Lady GaGa

I am a fan of performance art. But, it has recently struck me that she is lacking in both performance and art. She is merely a seeker of limelight. She sought. She attained and she is being fueled by throngs of people who she calls her "monsters". Seriously! Not kidding. Wait a minute. Dick, are you reading this? Are you actually Gaga? Minions= monsters? Frenemies was tossed around in a post, even. Just sayin.... But I digress. Her talent seems to be questionable. Her skill seems to lie in her ability to align herself with the proper marketing, producing, hair, makeup and design teams. Impressive? Hardly. You, Ms Gaga, I am truly bored with seeing. I do still enjoy hearing me some Disco Stick every now and then though. ;)

Taylor Fucking Swift

Ummm, what key is that? Oh, I get it, you knew you were going to win Album of the Year so you decided to make up your own flat, horrid, I am young and weigh 19lbs so I don't have to be able to sing because Kanye was mean to me one time key. Gotcha. You go girl. What the fuck!!!??!!! Then, what horror? Who made Stevie Nicks go out there and sing with her? Oh my Jesus. That has to be against some sort of musical law. I don't even like Stevie Nicks that much, but really????? My daughter actually grabbed a mop, screeched and swayed with it, exact same effect, I am pretty sure Taylor Swift was in my living room and at the grammys simultaneously. So, she has a skill, it just isn't music related. She is definitely meant to break the time space continuum, but never to be heard, and if she doesn't eat a fucking cheeseburger soon, we won't be able to see her anyway!!!

Alright, the Golden Rule as I am applying it is always leave on a high note....so, someone who deserves to be both seen and heard, for now...keep in mind this is always subject to change, is this lady. I have always been a fan, but after watching this I want to go to the gym, install some torn sheets and a sprinkler system in my bedroom and glitter my lovah.......this was oh my god HOT!!! Enjoy...this should be both seen and heard........


Phoenixism said...

Lady Gaga sporting the "Carrie" look. Hot.

Wicked Pen said...

i concur.
pink is ridiculous. i love her.

lady gaga.... well... only lady gaga would thank God and the gays in the same sentence, cause those things generally go hand in hand, right? just sayin.

tebow... well, if he keeps his shirt off, he will def. be seen and not heard in my house! ;-)


taylor swift.... whatever. she's weird.
jamie foxx... whatever.


Wicked Shawn said...

Cold Shower- Ummm, ok. LOL

Pen- I think she was being sarcastic when she thanked God and sincere when she thanked the gays

Miss Spoken said...

When you said "leave on a high note" I thought you meant something different ... looks like I washed a handful of Ambien down with Nyquil for no reason.

Dammit, I should learn to read all the way through before digesting pharmaceuticals.

I blame this on you, Wicked.

Elly Lou said...

I agree on pink and taylor whole heartedly. But I kinda dig on Gaga. She's smart. She knows her marketing. She's innovative. She can actually sing. I'm not going to go see her live or buy her records, but I'm kinda glad she exists.

Now I have to watch that pink video AGAIN. Yum.

Wicked Shawn said...

Spoken- You say blame, I assume you meant thank and you are welcome darling, anytime. ;)

Elly- 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

secret agent woman said...

I find Lady Gaga unutterably creepy.

And the football goombah needs to keep his big mouth shut - the Superbowl (which I actually don't intend to watch because I don't follow football) wasn't meant to be an anti-choice forum.

Amanda said...


I thought I was the only one on this crazy planet that thinks Ga Ga is gaggy. I know, not a word.

I hate the grammys. Sucky music. Sucky people.

Do I sound cranky?

Anonymous said...

Haha,Great post.

I can't believe you're managing to post everyday. Too back "wicked" doesn't mean "lazy." Because that would be hot. ;)

The Absence of Alternatives said...

Thank you for voicing your disgust at the veiled anti-choice commercial. Lady Gaga is one smart business woman, that's what I have to say about her.