Wicked Girls.......We Aren't Your Target Audience

Did you see The Bachelor last night? Do I still have eyes in my head? Then obviously, no one in my home turned on the show where 20 or more desperate fucking women flaunted their bodies on national television, each trying to sleep with the same man, spending a grand total of probably 2 hours with him, then sobbing and declaring their love for him as he picks them off one by one until he narrows it down to the one fortunate(?) enough to be his bride to be, maybe. That's entertainment. Or fucking not. Really, who the hell is watching this??!! No, really, if you, my readers, my beloveds, are watching this, speak up and tell me why, I beseech you. Do they give shoes away during the commercials???

Then we have Wife Swap. I actually have caught entire episodes of this. I admit, guiltily, my need to understand dysfunctional humans (aka hatred of them) pulled me into this show. Wives who insist on not cleaning their homes and letting their children eat entire bottles of ketchup for breakfast being sent into homes where they eat all organic foods and prepare the meals together as a family, running the household like a well oiled and overly structured machine. Everything to extremes. You never like any of them. They are all caricatures of real people. Idiots, extremists, damaging their children, adults who throw tantrums on national tv and in front of their children. All for what? That flash of fame? Moment of glory? Glory? Shoot me now if this is what our world has to look forward to going forward.

Our country saw a vice presidential candidate who just gave a speech using the phrase "hopey changey thing". You know what, Alaska isn't the only place they teach women how to hunt, dumbass. Keep making us look stupid. Every time that bitch opens her mouth our entire sex looks dumber. Why? Because some asshole on the RNC board realized McCain was old and ugly and thought she would balance it out. Fuck! Did nobody breed a relatively young, attractive republican woman with a functioning brain?? WTH??!! As for the note on her hand, whatthefuckever, it probably just said "don't wink at the camera, dipshit!"

Maybe I am being too harsh. Perhaps all of these people are very smart. It has long been a practice by some to pretend they are stupid. Maybe Ms. California really was a brilliant girl, she was just playing to the audience she expected to be watching a beauty pageant. Maybe Sarah Palin is very intelligent, she was just trying to play to the average Republican. (rim shot, sorry, couldn't resist! why do you guys still love me?) Maybe the girls on The Bachelor are very intelligent, smart enough to know they would never get on the show if they let it be known they were smarter than the creators, who are clearly not intelligent enough to come up with a story line, plot or script. Big kudos do go to the girl who was smart enough to just skip the manwhore (nothing but love for my manwhores, mind you) and just start sleeping with the host! As for the Wife Swap people, no, they really are just assholes and idiots bent on fucking up their children and I hate them all.

I have played the seductress. I have played innocent. I have played the naughty girl, oh wait, that one isn't so much of an act. I have taken on many roles in the dance between the sexes. One thing I have simply never been able to stomach is that of the stupid girl. I've seen it done, played to perfection. I have seen it reel guys in over and over again. Each time I sat back and looked at them with one thought clear in my mind. Never, not for one moment, would one of those men hold my interest for five minutes. Men who desire a stupid woman do so for simple reasons. Fear or lack of self esteem. I have a low tolerance for both in my men. I need a man who is neither afraid of me nor uncomfortable with himself. Stupid doesn't suit me. Not on me nor on my men.

But I do like fun. So, I am off to dream of Jimmy Fallon!