It's Not Just Me, Right?

Okay, I need some reassurance, here. Well, need is a rather strong word for it. I want some reassurance. No, that sounds wrong, too. I demand someone else bust down the fucking door and acknowledge that you can love your country and still not feel compelled to sit and watch this kind of shit.



First, let me be clear about the video I pulled, it is not the Olympic performance, because the couple watered down their costumes for the Olympics under pressure. Why? Because they were told their costumes might be offensive. No, dipshits, it was your lack of understanding of the people you were supposedly paying tribute to in your dance that was offensive to them. But, anyway, that is not why I posted this.

I am just saying, I am not a fan of the Winter Olympics. They look cold, I hate cold. I don't dislike cold, people. It's not a person, I'm not going to hurt it's feelings or burn in eternal damnation or some stupid shit like that for saying it. I am 100% comfortable in my deep hatred of the cold. I HATE HATE HATE HATE it. The longer it lasts, the more I hate it.

Then, in the middle of a horrible, snowy, nasty winter, NBC hijacks my fucking television with scenes of non-stop ice and snow. Are you kidding me? People are tweeting and emailing and blogging about skating and skiing and curling and hockey, hockey, HOCKEY???!!!!

Sometimes it is on in my house. One morning I was watching the Today show when I was accosted by Carrot Top, no, What. The. Fuck. That was an Olympic Gold Medalist. Oh yes, that damn snowboarder Shaun White, you little Carrot Top looking thing you. It is a good thing you are talented or you would never get laid.



More importantly, I was Facebook bombed by a private message, pointing out that it was patriotic to support our Olympic athletes. They are ice dancing Bitch, not saving children!!!! WTF!! A little perspective, please. Yes, if you are wondering, with many more words, that is what I said to her. Is it nice to hear that the USA hockey team beat Canada, I guess if you are a hockey fan it certainly would be for you. Much like I love to see my boys in blue (UK Wildcats) win their basketball games. Do I think anyone who lives in Kentucky and doesn't follow them throughout the season to be less of a Kentuckian, ummmm, no, because that is fucking stupid, because guess what, not everyone likes basketball. Or sports in general.

For those of you who do enjoy the Olympics, enjoy them while they last, thoroughly. I am happy for you. Please do understand that I am doing the countdown to Jimmy Fallon's return. I miss him. I resent the fuck out of your ski people and skaters and especially those strange curling, ice sweeping fucks who clearly just ran out of sports and decided that was all they had left for taking him away from me. I will be glad when they have stopped coming between me and that funny little beer pong playing man of mine.

Guest Post From My Friend The Dick

First, I would like to congratulate Shawn for being my lucky winner.



Suck it up Shawn… 15 minutes and all.



Next, I would like to tell Shawn to fuck off for picking the topic of the blog. What am I a 4th grader?



Don’t answer that.



Also…I would have written a guest blog if you would have asked. Muahahahahahahaha.



Evil laughing aside, I really didn’t know how to approach this topic.







I thought about it long ( 5 minutes tops) and hard (ha, he said hard) before starting this blog.

As you can tell, the 200 words may be filled with ranting. Hey, it’s my style and you can suck it.



So, I decided to follow the spirit of the title and tell Shawn what I really think. I will be quite honest and admit that I haven’t read all of Shawn’s blogs. I will… I just haven’t yet. However, I have a pretty good feeling about her. When I read her blog I hear a sassy voice (yeah I know… I always hear voices) and her stabbitude makes me laugh.



Also, she talks pretty candidly about sex.



If wicked girls knew….



That some guys like wicked girls. I like that my gf doesn’t take my shit. It is about time somebody won’t. One of my readers (and real life friend (gasp (shock (oh no, not this again (muahahahah (ahem)))))) thought that Jaime from A Cheeto Named Larry was my girlfriend (ah hell no). My real gf laughed and said, “Yeah, she wouldn’t take your shit either.”



That guys don’t always want to have sex. Just almost always.



Leaving your initials in your pubes is just wrong. Seriously, you need help.



And, to end this whole charade, speaking your mind is a valuable trait. However, I have absolutely no filter most times. I have found a freedom in this… and sometimes trouble. Also, this applies to actions as well. But… looking before you leap is lame.



There you are folks, my first ever forced guest blog. Your welcome.

Peace.


NOTE from Wicked Shawn: My thanks to you for the guest blog. To my readers who aren't familiar with our guest, www.iamadick.squarespace.com , go check him out. Very funny stuff, funny in an angry, stabalicious kind of way.
Of course I have a few notes. Yes, you are like a fourth grader, just with a much bigger attitude. Were you not aware of this? Really??
Ask? Umm, hi, I'm Shawn, clearly you are not familiar with me, I like a challenge. Asking is for sissies and whiners. "Will you please do this for me?" Fuck that, I will take people down to get what I want, that's how we Wicked Girls roll. ;)
Of course you don't like sex ALL the time, when would you eat????
Love that you like your gf not putting up with your shit, makes me almost take back fourth grader comment.
Again, thank you.