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Thursday, March 4, 2010

How I Found Myself In A Courtroom with No Panties Part II

Okay......when we left off, I had finished explaining to Idiot from the County Attorneys Office that yes, I would be there, but not at 3:30 and not to just load my mentally and physically unstable grandfather in my car for a "danger ride". Now for, as they say, the rest of the story.....

I arrive at the courthouse and go directly to the county attorney's office. I had placed a couple of calls en route, one of which was to the office of a friend of mine who is the former county attorney here, only to find that he was in court in another county. Snag! But then was able to find that another "free legal counsel" type was at the courthouse. (it pays to have friends, for me, not them :-) )

When I went in I was told that they were already in the hearing but not to be upset because while I was on my way they had worked everything out with a gentleman from Adult Protection Services, he had spoken with someone from the VA Hospital and they would transport my grandfather by ambulance from the jail to the psychiatric unit there, all that needed to be done was for the judge to dismiss the charges in the courtroom.

I was dubious. There were other words exchanged that are unnecessary to this story. I was unkind. Damn me and my temper with the insipid people of this beautiful world of ours, but hey, you know what, my fucking head still hurts, my day to day life isn't always peachy and somebody needs to get bitched at every now and then or else, well, I'm going to stab an innocent.

After this *ahem* necessary exchange, I leave the office and slip into the courtroom. I start to look around. I notice that the only people I know are the attorneys, the police officers, the courtroom workers and the judge. Then, I take a closer look. I am surrounded by miscreants. Like, of the real kind. Not just like, our kind of miscreants, no, these are the people who we could only aspire to dream of understanding the sad depths of darkness inside the minds of, kind of miscreants, I mean, my grandfather shot at people, let's be clear, these are not speeding ticket people I am chilling next to today.

Suddenly, I almost laughed out loud! It occurred to me that I, the self-proclaimed Queen of let's not judge people, was sitting here judging people in this court of law, WEARING NO PANTIES!!!

Then I took another couple of glances around. I would almost swear that I was the only person in the whole room not wearing panties, which just made it that much better. Then, as all of this is going through my head, the county attorney turns and motions for me to walk up to the front of the room to the table in front of the divider. I am now walking up there trying not to shout to the room, "Yeah, I'm sans panties and my grandfathers nuts, fuck you, what about it!!!???" I did control the urge, but Oh. My. God. It would have felt so good! Plus, I know about 6 of the 8 attorneys and all 5 of the police who were on court duty and trust me, they would have LOVED it!!!

So, that is the story of how I found myself in a courtroom with no panties.

P.S. No, they didn't have a fucking thing lined out when my grandfather was transported to the VA hospital, in fact, he had to be transported out of the VA hospital because, hey, guess what?? They don't have proof he is a veteran. Sheesh!!

P.P.S. I wore panties today when I went back up there to tell them they fucked up

9 comments:

Wickedly Loved said...

Since I work shift work AND on an eight day work schedule can we have some sort of signal for no panties day? perhaps in neon? Just curious. Don't want to miss it is all...

Wicked Pen said...

its sad that i'm sure had you shouted that in the courtroom, it probably wouldn't have been the first time something like that happened.

gotta love KY.

;-)

-pen

Wicked Shawn said...

Loved- Ummm, since they come off whenever you enter a room, what the hell difference does it really make????

Pen- Say it isn't so!!

Phoenixism said...

Your courtroom panty-less narrative really made me hot.

BTW, is any of your father's affliction hereditary? I would think so.


I'm still a little bedazzled...I need one of those infamous Cold Showers,

secret agent woman said...

I have one friend and an old boyfriend who both never wear underwear. For me, that's more a summer dress thing.

Patty Punker said...

step aside sharon stone, wicked shawn is in the hizzle.

umm so how is it you know all of these lawyers, cops, judges and courtroom people?

Elly Lou said...

"Not just like, our kind of miscreants"

You know it's shit like that that makes me love you, right?

I wore panties. You know my stance. Viva the vag!

Wicked Shawn said...

Cold Shower- ;-)
PTSD and dimentia, no, not hereditary, but thanks for the (?)concern(?)
Enjoy that shower

SA-Guys wearing no undergarments never seems to have the same effect, does it?

As for when I go sans panties, it's a mood thing for me, summer dresses are definitely inspirational, or romantic dates, sometimes it is just for no reason at all and other times it is because I woke up feeling particularly sexual.

Patty- I am amzingly connected, if you ever come to KY and get in trouble, find me. I can help.

Elly- Free Vag, she begs for it!!!!

Eternally Distracted said...

That is just baaaadddddd... and how did masturbation spring up in your label?!!