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Sunday, March 14, 2010

Wicked Social Sledgehammer

Everyone has heard the phrase, someone complains, often validly, about something that has happened to them and the only response their audience can come up with is a brilliant, "Dude, life's a bitch". Nice, right. Just the kind of moral support someone going through hard times was seeking. Of course, if you are spilling your guts to a friend, you should really know that person well enough to know how that person is going to respond. Hence, if that person is a "life's a bitch" kind of person, don't whine to them. Unless, of course, that is the response you are seeking.

Surprisingly to some of you, I am not that kind of friend. If something bad has happened to you, I will listen, commiserate, try to help, support and be there.Now read that last statement again. it bears an important qualifier. If something bad has happened to you You see, if nothing bad has happened to you, if you simply make bad choices, are self destructive, like to whine just to get attention, etc then life is no longer the bitch, I am!

I tend to weed these people from my life rather efficiently, but there are some who you really can't do that with, be they familial obligations, friends of He Who Loves All Thing Wicked, co-workers, whatever, but sometimes they are just unavoidable. Which is unfortunate. For them. I have a low tolerance level. I am not shy, I have never been shy. I have never found it difficult to speak my mind, quite the opposite, I find it virtually impossible not to speak my mind. You may call me a social sledgehammer.

I can be the sweetest most loving person in the world. Trust me, I am very good at this self evaluation stuff. You want me in your corner. But if I have no emotional connection to you and yours and you have crossed me or someone I even have a mild affection for, you seriously need to find a way to get away from me. I will publicly humiliate you.

I bring all of this up because it happened at the casino last night. Playing at a table with a group of strangers, a dealer I knew and one guy who I have played with once before, nice guy, good sense of humor. A new guy sat at the table and made it clear that his intention was to take out myself and the other woman sitting at the table. He made this clearer when he did take the other woman out by actually saying, "That's why women have no business playing poker". I sat quietly, her husband was at the table and he didn't sit quietly for that one, I just let it go, tilting at poker is the worst, as with anything in life, letting you adversary get under your skin gives them a huge advantage. Worse yet, letting them know they have gotten under your skin, gives them an opportunity to pick at the wound. I folded a few times, then excused myself from the table, went to the floor manager and told her to move me to another table.

I returned to my table just in time for a forced blind hand, which I played, fortunately for me it was a really good hand. Mr. Charm and Sunshine stayed in. I played the hand strong at first and he called me, I had 3 of a kind on the flop, with no potential danger of being beaten at that time, he called me, leaving just the two of us. Next card turned and I checked it to him, deciding to slow play and let him think I was afraid of him, he bet into me, I just called. Last card (river card) did no possible damage to me, I doubled his last bet, he called me. He proudly displays top pair, I turn over my set, smiled and said "See, cocky, miscalculating punks like you are exactly why girls do play poker" and I racked my chips. All of the other guys at the table congratulated me and were laughing, I told them all to have a great night and enjoy taking his money while he was on tilt, no doubt sending him deeper into tilt mode. Most people would have just quietly left, but that would have left me feeling unsatisfied. His comment to the lady he took out earlier was rude and disrespectful and her husband really enjoyed it when I cut down so many of his chips AND insulted him. He had been rude and cocky with all of the men at the table, who really were a friendly group. He needed to be brought down. I am just the girl for that kind of thing.

Is it sweet? No. The thing is, I don't need everyone to like me. What would it say about me if everyone who met me, assholes and good people alike, all liked me? Bland. No real personality. Who tries to make everyone like them? Children. While I want to retain some of my child like qualities, that is definitely not one of them. Do I get the random, "Wow, that was a bit much, don't you think?" Yes, I hear that sometimes. Is it a bit much at times, eh, maybe. But, I am also told I own too many shoes and too many purses. Clearly, opinions on such things vary.

On the flip side, while sitting in my precious car, which I adore, the other day, an elderly woman was getting in a van parked beside me, when she opened her door the wind caught it and crashed it into my car so hard it shook my car. She was horrified. Immediately looked in at me and apologized, looked at my car..she looked so frail, she had been up in the treatment center receiving chemo where my dad was, I just smiled and said it was ok. Of course my stomach was in knots at what I was going to see when I checked it, but, really, what the hell do you do?

Am I a vicious bitch at times, a social sledgehammer who will call you out and embarrass you for your offenses? Hell yes. Do I feel even the slightest bit of remorse about that? What do you think?

PS Wicked Wednesday questions need to be submitted through formspring no later than Wednesday at 5pm Eastern time. thanks to all who have been submitting. Keep them coming!!


Elly Lou said...

Aww yeah! Grrrl power! And you're right, a social sledgehammer sounds way better than a social butterfly.

pattypunker said...

S to the wicked! keep it up, girl. we love you for it.

Pennypenpen said...

social sledgehammer. you should patent that!

it IS, in fact, perfect for you. you sarcastic bitch! i love it. lololol


Jaime said...

NOthing's more fun than calling out a guy with a tiny penis. Because that's truly what his problem is. He's a woman hater because a few women have probably laughed at his little gherkin and the only thing he can do is to attempt to belittle (hehe) women to redeem his pitiful self esteem. I should be a fucking psychologist.

A Vapid Blonde said...

You rock. If I am ever in another bar room brawl I am so sending out the The Vapid Vajazzler gang sign for you.

Phoenixism said...

This is it.
I can't wait any longer.

Will you be my cyber-girlfriend?

Jana said...

Totally agree with you on this one. I would rather be known as someone who can actually speak out what she is thinking rather than sounding like i'm reading from a textbook or script, just so that people can like me.

MikeB said...

I found your blog by linking in from several other blogs, and I read this social sledgehammer post. Great writing, kept me interested and absorbed, and it was a great adventure reading it. Way to go -- the poker expert (sorry, I meant to say asshole) deserved the beating you gave him, both chipwise and verbally.

Reminds me of when I was by myself eating lunch in a local restaurant years ago, and a man and woman at the table behind me were talking. The man starts going on and on about how a Jewish lawyer screwed him in some dealings he had with the lawyer. This guy just kept slamming Jews, and then he eventually says, "All Jews are crooks." Well, as he was building up to this final comment before my "intervention," my heart was racing and my blood was boiling because I am Jewish, and not only am I not a crook, I was a federal law enforcement agent at the time and investigated crooks for a living and put quite a few of them in jail after the jury trials where they got their day in court.

So I hear the guy say, "All Jews are crooks," and I figured it was my duty to say something (after all, we can't ignore this vicious stereotyping, plus he was ruining my peaceful lunch), so I turned around and faced him and said, "I'm Jewish; would you like to repeat to my face what you just said about Jews?" Well, he had nothing to say (the asshole -- there are assholes in poker games and assholes at restaurants). I just let it go, but I felt that at least I had not let this pass unremarked. I am not usually an aggresive person (except when I am pushed too far, and when I was investigating the real crooks for their fraud schemes), but this restaurant guy had to be put in his place.