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Monday, January 25, 2010

Wicked Girls.......Wish They Had A More Interesting Day

So, aside from being assaulted by clowns..*ahem*...it has quite possibly been the most boring day of my life.

Unfortunately, it has not been the most boring day ever in the life of someone I don't know. Yes, you read that correctly, let me continue, it will all come together for you.

While checking my Facebook, because we just have to have one of those, a friend of mine posts a picture of a wrecked SUV. Before I have a chance to ask what it's all about, he explains, it is his girlfriend's, she had a car accident this morning. What a Fucked Up way to start the day, right? That, it turns out, was the best part of her morning.

Photobucket

She had gotten out of her vehicle and was on the side of the road shaking and crying, visibly upset. A man stopped to help. In the confusion she had left the vehicle running. He offered to shut it off for her. Somewhere in the midst of things, he left the scene before the police arrived. Oh wait, did I mention our good neighbor left WITH HER FUCKING WALLET!!!!!!! That's right ladies and gentlemen, stole her fucking wallet while she is standing there outside her wrecked vehicle trying to compose herself. Fucking priceless. (I feel skull fucking is totally justifiable here, with a tire iron)


Incredibly bad, fucked up, sucked into a blackhole, drive you batshit crazy, call it quits and just crawl inside a bottle kind of day, right? After all, how could it get any worse than this? Well, that would come when you realize you still had your boyfriend's ATM card in your wallet. Of course, this is an easy fix, he just needs to call the bank and report them stolen. Oh wait, in between the time of the accident and him calling the bank, there were three purchases to.......drumroll please.......oh hell yeah....liquor stores. Every liquor store in the US has camera footage, the bank knows the exact time of the purchases, won't be long now and he will be busted. It's a small town and he's a stupid fucktard of a criminal. I am sure this isn't his first run in with the local police.


Finally, a happy ending, not the massage parlor type, but, hey, not all of my blogs can be sex-centric, sorry. I'm sure she isn't exactly elated tonight, nor should she be, she has every right to be super bad pissed and be ready to take a tire iron and, well, we covered that....

8 comments:

Amy said...

fucking priceless...criminals really are THAT stupid...try working at 911 for a while, you will see how ridiculously stupid people can be...

Phoenixism said...

You have two options and based on the 0-10 excitement scale:

Be assaulted by clowns...depending on the clowns and what they did to you, I'd say about 5.5-6.

Get looted by some scumsucking Good Samaritan. Easily 8.5.

I'd take Krusty, sorry.

Wicked Shawn said...

Krusty, Pennywise, Bozo.....make them go away.......please, someone save me......

KeepingYouAwake said...

Fucking Samaritans. You can't trust anyone nowadays. ESPECIALLY not clown-samaritans.

Aunt Juicebox said...

UGH! She gets the award for worst thing to happen this week. I was gunning for it, but I'm bowing out gracefully.

You have to wonder. How can someone be smart enough to think of stealing a wallet in this manner (i.e. when the person is obviously not going to notice it's being taken) and yet, dumb enough to use the stolen card someplace they'll get caught on camera? It boggles the mind.

Wicked Pen said...

clowns are evil.
even PENNYwise
-Pen

The Absence of Alternatives said...

*sigh* just my luck: I finally got my act together to visit you and guess what? No sex! Happy Ending for real!

In all seriousness, sorry about your friend's GF. Here is what I remembered about theft in the first degree: "The theft is committed during a riot, fire, explosion, catastrophe or other emergency in an area affected by the riot, fire, explosion, catastrophe or other emergency." I wonder whether a car accident counts as such. It should since the law is there to discourage people from taking advantage of folks when they are in duress. The lowest of the low as you have said. Amazing some of the things that people do.

secret agent woman said...

I think I'd take a boring day over that!