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Sunday, January 24, 2010

So Now I know Why They Call It NashVegas

Day(and night)2 in Nashville was a whole different kind of adventure. Starting with the purchase of my supersweetsexy new comefuckme shoes.

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You like? Yeah, me too. Un-fucking-fortunately in the nastiness of leaving the hotel this morning, or maybe during the whatever of last night, they got pushed under the bed last night and left in my room at the hotel. Hope the cleaning staff didn't wear the same size I do. Called and left message for the manager this evening when I returned home. Hoping they will be returned and I will have my new loves shipped to me and back in my possession by mid-week.

First things first, Nude Karaoke, which we intended as a spectator sport, thank you very much, Elly, was a bit of false advertising, fuckers. Apparently, this is what really bad strip clubs stoop to in order to entice patrons inside their establishments. Mindful that I am somewhat judgemental (similar to Beavis and Butthead being somewhat immature) I will give you the exact words of one of the gentlemen who was with us "Alright, if this is what the strippers look like, the karaoke better be REALLY fucking good!!". hehehe When 50 year old men are that choosy about the naked 20 something's they are looking at, I feel pretty justified in my criticisms. Let's just say that it is hard to understand how a girl can spend much time dancing and still be in such poor physical condition. EEK! Kudos for the confidence to do so naked, though.

Speaking of confidence, I earned my Shutup and Dance t-shirt at Coyote Ugly's on 2nd Street
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You guessed it, the back says "I danced on the bar at Coyote Ugly in Nashville" Love of my life said no dancing on the bar, no shirt, so, I earned my shirt. *sigh* It's a tough life I lead.

Speaking of tough life, check out these delicious little morsels I befriended at Tootsie's Orchid Lounge. Not a pair of Wranglers or cowboy hat in the bunch. We love these boys!!!! They were fabulous fun..not too hard to look at either.........
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On the other hand, I think we had one of those horrible, "Larry the Cable Guy" wanna be sightings
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Could you possibly have a lower dream in life. I want to be just like that there Larry the cable guy. He's cool. What the fuck? I had an overwhelming urge to run my heel into his "family jewels" just to ensure that the ignorance would end there!!! Fucking rednecks.

I was angry very little, amused a whole lot, now I'm home and will have tons to rant about tomorrow. Promise, after all, I have boots to track down and hotel staff to suck up to in order to get them.

11 comments:

Wicked Pen said...

where are my 'hot guy's asses' pictures??
where's your hat?
:-)
-Pen

mepsipax said...

Nashville? Really.. Hope you had fun. You sure are violent though. That's why I love you.

This right here though... a true gem

I had an overwhelming urge to run my heel into his "family jewels" just to ensure that the ignorance would end there!!!

That is fucking epic.

mepsipax said...

Clowns Clowns clowns clowns. Clown sex... giggity. Ha

Wicked Shawn said...

Pen, You already know how I feel about cowboy hats, simply wasn't a chance in hell.

Fuckhead, quit chasing me around trying to ruin my sex life!!!! ;)

mepsipax said...

Uh no. :D

mepsipax said...

Uh no. :D

secret agent woman said...

I read through that trying to decipher whether the trip was worth it to you. Overall, good?

Wicked Shawn said...

The trip was a success. Nashville has quite a bit to offer, especially when it comes to nightlife.

Phoenixism said...

I'm spellbound by your comefuckme shoes and Larry the Cable Guy, not in that particular order.

Hope you get them back and get those heels pointed toward the heavens.

Paul said...

Ha, you went to a nut hugger's paradise. So tell me are cut off flanels still in over there?

Wicked Shawn said...

Phoenixism, thanks, I think....*grin* btw, your name has officially been deemed a massive pain in the ass to type late at night. Going forward, I will merely call you Cold Shower ;) Those who don't know why can merely click on that pain in the ass name and figure it out for themselves.


Paul, thankfully no, the cutoff flannels were not in full effect, oh wait, it is January...the Cable Guy wanna be was the only one I spotted. Doubtful many would have escaped my notice. :)