Wicked Girls........Playing The Numbers Game

New relationships, so exciting, spending hours talking, laying in one another's arms, getting to know the details of this new, fascinating creature and the things that made them who they are and what you can't resist.



This is the time that you are most likely to hear the question that is the basis for much debate and todays post. "Tell me about your sex life, how many people have you had sex with?" Fuckity fuck fuck fuck!!! This can be a deal breaker, or at least a strain that stays with a lot of couples for the remainder of many relationships.

Men, when I asked them, at first said it was a question they wouldn't ask. Then, as the conversation flowed, their answer began to turn to a less solid ground, more the "Well, if I asked it would be to ensure I was safe from disease." Really? This backs one into a corner. Especially when you know the individual has a history of one night stands. Have these one night stands been properly vetted and rejected if not deemed "clean"? Doubtful, in fact, I know better.

Women, no surprise here, asked out of curiosity or insecurity. For fuck's sake girls, it's your bed he's in now, your body he's ravaging now. Get over it. Curiosity maimed the pussy, killed the cat and damaged god only knows what else, let it go. Your insecurities, work those out with a therapist, or follow my tweets, whatever, but don't lay landmines in the bed of budding relationships.



Essentially, after speaking with friends and strangers, reading some other blogs and reviewing several articles, it all reminds me of a sales tactic. It's a trust checker. A question asked at a certain point in the close of a deal to make sure your client is following you and has reached the proper commitment level for the stage you have led them to at that point, knowing you can go no further into the pitch until you get them there.

Proper responses. When faced with this question, what the fuck do you say? Most people just straight up told me they lie. I was asked once by a former "not-boyfriend" and I simply said, " More than you want to think about, so don't ask again or I will tell you." That ended the conversation. But seriously, what do people say, verses what people want to hear.

Guys said they ballpark it. Most of the guys knew approximately how many partners they had been with, but they had never been completely honest with anyone who had asked them outright. Especially not other men.

Women said they had always been honest with their closest girlfriends about their number, cut it down considerably for pals they weren't "that" close to and usually cut it in half, sometimes more than half when talking to potential relationship material.

What I found most fascinating, guys take on girls who had numerous partners, for the most part, was not negative. (One guy did tell me he always asks early after meeting someone because if the number is above 5 she is a ho and he needs to find a way out soon, then he half assed hit on me, I laughed and said back off pal, I am way past ho status on your counter) Guys felt that the number of partners were not as important as whether or not a girl had a history of being unfaithful. I was impressed by the males of our species at this point.

Unfortunately, not so impressed by my own gender, who spent far too much time telling me that if a guy has a long history of one night stands, it's a (and I fucking kid you not, these were someone's exact words) Pavlov's dog reaction, drink beer, fuck strange, they can't help themselves. There were even a couple of guys who mirrored this sentiment, feeling that once a guy is used to being able to have sex with a myriad of different women, he would never be able to confine himself to one woman. I don't really believe that. As a girl who has a high number, but has been faithful for a very long time, reform is possible, I promise. Besides, variety doesn't only come by changing partners people, Jesus, think outside the box (hehe, I still love my puns) every now and then.



What counts in this number anyway??? Vaginal penetration only? (I know you were hoping for pictures on these, weren't you....... :( sorry) Mutual masturbation? Anal? Oral? Genital stimulation with no penetration? Penetration with foriegn objects only? Sex acts with climax only?

Getting my point here? Semantics also skew the numbers. In the end, it's best to realize that every relationship is a new beginning. The past should be behind you before you open a new door.