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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Wicked Girls........Playing The Numbers Game

New relationships, so exciting, spending hours talking, laying in one another's arms, getting to know the details of this new, fascinating creature and the things that made them who they are and what you can't resist.

This is the time that you are most likely to hear the question that is the basis for much debate and todays post. "Tell me about your sex life, how many people have you had sex with?" Fuckity fuck fuck fuck!!! This can be a deal breaker, or at least a strain that stays with a lot of couples for the remainder of many relationships.

Men, when I asked them, at first said it was a question they wouldn't ask. Then, as the conversation flowed, their answer began to turn to a less solid ground, more the "Well, if I asked it would be to ensure I was safe from disease." Really? This backs one into a corner. Especially when you know the individual has a history of one night stands. Have these one night stands been properly vetted and rejected if not deemed "clean"? Doubtful, in fact, I know better.

Women, no surprise here, asked out of curiosity or insecurity. For fuck's sake girls, it's your bed he's in now, your body he's ravaging now. Get over it. Curiosity maimed the pussy, killed the cat and damaged god only knows what else, let it go. Your insecurities, work those out with a therapist, or follow my tweets, whatever, but don't lay landmines in the bed of budding relationships.

Essentially, after speaking with friends and strangers, reading some other blogs and reviewing several articles, it all reminds me of a sales tactic. It's a trust checker. A question asked at a certain point in the close of a deal to make sure your client is following you and has reached the proper commitment level for the stage you have led them to at that point, knowing you can go no further into the pitch until you get them there.

Proper responses. When faced with this question, what the fuck do you say? Most people just straight up told me they lie. I was asked once by a former "not-boyfriend" and I simply said, " More than you want to think about, so don't ask again or I will tell you." That ended the conversation. But seriously, what do people say, verses what people want to hear.

Guys said they ballpark it. Most of the guys knew approximately how many partners they had been with, but they had never been completely honest with anyone who had asked them outright. Especially not other men.

Women said they had always been honest with their closest girlfriends about their number, cut it down considerably for pals they weren't "that" close to and usually cut it in half, sometimes more than half when talking to potential relationship material.

What I found most fascinating, guys take on girls who had numerous partners, for the most part, was not negative. (One guy did tell me he always asks early after meeting someone because if the number is above 5 she is a ho and he needs to find a way out soon, then he half assed hit on me, I laughed and said back off pal, I am way past ho status on your counter) Guys felt that the number of partners were not as important as whether or not a girl had a history of being unfaithful. I was impressed by the males of our species at this point.

Unfortunately, not so impressed by my own gender, who spent far too much time telling me that if a guy has a long history of one night stands, it's a (and I fucking kid you not, these were someone's exact words) Pavlov's dog reaction, drink beer, fuck strange, they can't help themselves. There were even a couple of guys who mirrored this sentiment, feeling that once a guy is used to being able to have sex with a myriad of different women, he would never be able to confine himself to one woman. I don't really believe that. As a girl who has a high number, but has been faithful for a very long time, reform is possible, I promise. Besides, variety doesn't only come by changing partners people, Jesus, think outside the box (hehe, I still love my puns) every now and then.

What counts in this number anyway??? Vaginal penetration only? (I know you were hoping for pictures on these, weren't you....... :( sorry) Mutual masturbation? Anal? Oral? Genital stimulation with no penetration? Penetration with foriegn objects only? Sex acts with climax only?

Getting my point here? Semantics also skew the numbers. In the end, it's best to realize that every relationship is a new beginning. The past should be behind you before you open a new door.


secret agent woman said...

I have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy with men on this one. (I'd tell a good female friend, of course.) I don't want to know their number, and mine is none of their business. And if I can't forget the others when I'm with someone new, there's a problem with the relationship anyway.

Wicked Pen said...

i concur!
"ho reform" think we can get that bill passed?

Wicked Shawn said...

Secret Agent- this is the one time I am all for don't ask don't tell....lol

Pen- Thanks to Mitch McConnell and company, it will be a while before we can get any fucking kind of bill passed, but nice thought. I can call Jack (gladly) and see if his "internet task force" will work on an "internet ho" reform program though :)

Miss Spoken said...

My opinion on the matter is pretty simple: Don't ask questions you don't really want the answers to.

That goes for "Am I the best you ever had?", "Did you come?" and "Have you ever had a threesome?"

Paul Wynn said...

Well put Wicked. You know its always the dudes that say "Yeah, well I've been with many girls" and its really like 2 but the girls...
they always seem to be well reserved with that question. Whatever the answer is, I was always told to add +3 to the total.

Wicked Pen said...

oh yeah, call Jack. :-) we'll see if we can reform him too!

Jaime said...

I so agree. My answer is very standard: "It's none of your damn business." Because it's not. What is his business is what I do from this point on and nothing more. People making a judgment based on a number are the same kind of people who will trade you off for 4 pair of shoes if the opportunity presents itself. lol jk. Couldn't pass that one up! Great post!

Phoenixism said...

Hahaha I loved this:

One guy did tell me he always asks early after meeting someone because if the number is above 5 she is a ho and he needs to find a way out soon, then he half assed hit on me, I laughed and said back off pal, I am way past ho status on your counter

Sums it up, doesn't it?

People pretend to have principles but principles are cheap and most people have no problem throwing 'em out the window.

I never ask because I don't really care. All I know is that right now, this minute, I'm the one damnit! If they ask, I always say 50. I have no idea how accurate that is, but it sounds good.

Wicked Shawn said...

Miss Spoken-Aww, come on now, you can tell me, did you or not? ;)

Paul- Asking is a bad idea, answering is even worse. It's a lose/lose situation.

Cold Shower-Principles, those are those things people have before I turn around and they see my breasts, right? Or was it when I was walking to the bathroom and they caught the walk away view of my ass? I never can keep it straight? :P

Wicked Shawn said...

Jaime, you get your very own comment response, since you blessed me with an award, thankyouverymuch!!!

A girl with as much pussy wandering about her apartment as you could divide the number of sexual partners by the volume of pussy currently residing in said apartment...... LMAO...

Turn about is fair play girlfriend

The Absence of Alternatives said...

I agree with you! This question gets even thornier when you belong to a culture that prizes "virginity" (on female only of course)...

p.s. All the talk about numbers, I have to say I am now truly an American when I am actually embarrassed because I don't think my number is high enough and I just want to lie about it if ever asked... ;-)