Is it youth? Lack of confidence? Fear? When I look back at relationships from my youth I can remember being jealous, but I definitely outgrew it. I can accept youthful jealousy. It's grown ass women and men displaying all out jealousy that I can't grasp. I truly don't understand it. So, let us dissect it. Pick it apart and try to rectify it, if possible.
Jealousy, the green-eyed monster lurks beautifully behind the curtain of dark lashes
Jealousy: 1)Intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness
2)Hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage
3)Vigilant in guarding a possession
My thanks to Merriam Webster.
Those definitions alone are enough to turn my stomach.
INTOLERANT OF RIVALRY?!?!? Rivalry makes one faster, better, stronger. Seriously though, is the rivalry real, or perceived? That would be the key, for one to truly be a rival, your lover would have to be accepting advances from them, in which case, it's not jealousy, it's attempted murder, of your lover, not the so-called rival, thus, we keep moving.
The use of the word unfaithfulness in the first definition blurs the line between jealousy and blind rage. If one has been unfaithful, that doesn't make their lover jealous, it makes them flip the fuck out and go apeshit nuts.
So, for the purpose of this post, we are purposefully pretending that word was left out, which, it should have been. (seems, in some cases, I am smarter than the dictionary makers, who knew?)
One believed to have an advantage? What does that mean? Nicer ass? Bigger breasts? Longer cock (threw that in for you guys)? Bigger bank account? Every person you encounter on a daily basis has something unique and special to offer the world that you do not possess. You are aware of this, right? You don't really believe that there are only twelve people out there that are better than you and damnthemotherfuckingluck they had to walk into your gin joint tonight?! Please tell me that's not what you think, if so, go read Doonesbury or something, seriously, I just don't need you here.
My personal favorite, vigilant in guarding a possession!!! When my shoes start trying to follow my friends out the door as they leave, I might have a BK Whopper sized fucking jealousy issue if we are using this definition, but seriously, we are talking about human fucking beings here. If you are with someone you need to guard, run, don't walk, away from the relationship immediately. Don't laugh, don't giggle, I'm not fucking playing around here.
Let's just break this down Barney style. 
Are you over the age of 25? Have you made it to the point where you have BOTH agreed that you are in a mutually exclusive relationship? If so, then you have one question left........do you trust this person? if your answer is yes, great! Then don't go through their fucking emails, Blackberry, pants pockets, credit card bill, etc. If the answer is no, then you have an additional question, is the issue you or the other person?
That is the hardest question of all. Some people really aren't trustworthy. Let's face it, people cheat. Surprised, read much?! Some people don't cheat, they just end up in a relationship with a person who has low self esteem or has been cheated on in the past and blames the entire opposite (or same) sex for that person's mistake. You need to evaluate this and decide if you are the problem or the other person is the issue. Either way, you are probably looking at an opt out situation with that particular relationship. Unless it is a fuckbuddy only eligible situation. ;)
The thing is, if you find yourself standing in a room, shouting, "Then why did I see a text that said _______ _____ ______ _____ ______ from _____ when I was looking through your Black Berry while you were in the shower" you should do three things immediately. Phone a friend. Have several drinks. Figure out how to apologize for losing your fucking mind and pack your bags both at the same time while trying to regain some semblance of your dignity, because trust me honey, the minute that sentence left your mouth, you lost it all!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Wicked Girls.........Don't Do Jealous
Posted by Wicked Shawn at 12:05 AM
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7 comments:
The "guarding" thing reminds me of something...
I've heard lots of guys say how angry they get if other men look at their girlfriend. It's the kind of thing that can start fights. If some guys had their way and it was acceptable in the Western world, they would make their women wear face veils 24/7. No one can look at my bitch!
Anyways I think that's ridiculous. If I'm out with a girlfriend, I love it if she's hot enough to draw stares. If she's into me, I can trust that those stares will only remain stares. If she's not, then I don't need her around.
I agree. It's a very insecure person who cannot cope with other people merely looking at the person they are dating. If the argument genuinely is that the person cannot be trusted not to slide them a phone number or hook up with them at a later time then what the fuck are you doing with them in the first place, which brings us full circle, back to personal insecurities. Wicked girls know we deserve who only wants us. If, by some chance his eye wanders, that's fine, look all you want, but if your hand follows, adios bitch, there is a line of men waiting to see you go so they can jump up here!
i concur! with the blog and the comments!
:-)
-Pen
The only thing I'm jealous of is those bastards that can fall asleep as soon as their head hits the pillow.
Fuck them.
(P.S. I concur with your post. The day I check a lover's email, text history, computer, planner, wallet or underwear is the day I set my head on fire)
Even though I had one long relationship end over infidelity (his), I remain a trusting and non-jealous person. I do not compete and I do not worry about other women. I can't live that way.
I didn't really expect any jealous women would be jumping on here going, "Hey, wait a minute, it makes perfect sense that I act this way!"
Spoken, Secret, it's not that we can't live that way, I have seen people live in ridiculous settings that seem unfathomable. It's merely that we choose never to lower our own sense of self to that standard. I just wish more women and men would set that same standard for themselves.
*steps down from soapbox, straightens miniskirt* Now it's time for wine and tonight's post, hehehe, in that order!!
Well said. Trust. Such a basic principle yet I don't see many posts discussing trust and jealousy the same staightforward way that you just did. Kudos!
p.s. Btw, just noticed and REALIZED the FAKE tweets. Awesomeness abound. More kudos!
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