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Monday, January 11, 2010

Manipulation, Why Wicked Girls Love It

Oh, take a breath. Yeah, yeah, we all know. It's a dirty ploy. It's also an age old, proven effective method. Slowly exhale my feminist friends, I promise you will still (sort of) love me when we are finished with this one. Let's face it, between the bumps, bruises and headaches from glass ceilings, handfuls of hair we leave behind from catatonic bitches who have forgotten we are all on the same side and the moronic assholes who haven't caught onto the fact that, yes, we are at least as smart as and some of us are, indeed smarter than he ever could hope to become, sometimes, it's in a girls best interest to just whip it out, so to speak. ;)

I will be the first to admit I have, on more than one occassion, suggested a trade of sexual favors for household chores. Wondering how this is manipulation? Easy! I'm a big fan of sex (see yesterdays blog) so obviously, I benefit as much as my partner, so, win/win for me, no chore and sex. MAJOR SCORE!! Feminists rejoice!! How is that for sexual empowerment??!!

Work wise, I prefer to keep it non-sexual.....ahem......that's my story, and I'm sticking to it......more the manipulation of being a valuable employee and using my value to my benefit. You need me to go out of town for a week at the end of the month, I need to work on this customers proposal. Let's make a deal.

Weak women are really the easiest to manipulate of all. They are so vapid at times it is like stealing candy from a baby. So busy trying to judge and gauge you, they forget the big picture. I am often the only mom to attend my kid's school functions in stillettos and dresses, which bothers neither myself nor my kids, but seems to perturb some of the khacki crew. One of whom decided to bring it to my attention one night. When it became blatantly obvious that she was trying, in front of about 6 other moms, to make me feel out of place for being dressed too well (WTF!!!??? Is there such a thing??) I smiled and said, "I'm so sorry, does me dressing like this make you feel a little, well, underdressed?" I purposefully said underdressed as if I had just uttered fuck in the middle of a sermon at a Southern Baptist convention. Her face immediately registered a shade of red that can only be described as a combination of fury and confusion unlike any I have seen before or since. Victory of wicked delight!

Therefore, I encourage manipulation, have presented my arguments for it and encourage your arguments against or some comments with examples of how you manipulated situations too!!
The internet says people are reading, I would love to hear from some of you!!!


Horns420 said...

Manipulation is a skill. An art form even for the masters. Those wishing to differ are utter morons. Manipulation begins as an instinct. From birth infants are manipulating their caregivers to provide them with food, clean diapers, love, etc...and as any mother knows they train us very quickly. We learn to manipulate others in every social situation imaginable. On the playground with other preschoolers, these small "innocents" are already becoming pros at getting the toy they want, or the friend they want to play with. Unfortunately, not all learn these skills and therefore suffer to keep up with the rest of us throughout their lives. Survival of the fittest, right? If situations are not advantageous to us and our world...it is natural to manipulate however we are able...to survive. Just as reading, writing and math are learned skills...manipulation is another skill to help bring about our successes.