Wicked Girls....Probably Don't Meet Their New Man Online Because...

......this just isn't likely to be your dream guy.



Is it about your age group? That was proposed to me earlier this week. That my inability to grasp the concept of falling in love with someone and dropping my real world life to go be with someone I have never met had more to do with my generational issue. The fact that I didn't have a Blackberry in my hand at age 12, access to an internet chat room from birth. I gave this serious thought.

Then, I laughed my fucking ass off. Sorry, but I did. No, I really laughed at it. Here is the thing. The people I know who have done this have been of varying age groups. It's not about any sort of generational issue whatsoever. It is a social matter. People who are having a hard time meeting individuals in a normal social setting, for various reasons, are the one's who are doing this. Age is not the deciding or even a determining factor. From teens to late sixties, this decimating the generational argument. Thus bringing us back to a need for social interaction.

My point in the discussion, to catch you up to speed, is that you can't know someone, truly know them, until you have looked into their eyes, seen them, touched them, tasted them, words, while providing some insight, on the internet especially, can be carefully chosen or even stolen, therefore are unreliable. One could take on any persona they chose while on the internet and run wild with it. I find the possibilities frightening, really.

Let us not confuse the topic:

Reconnecting with former loves, as many are doing, or even building stronger connections with old acquaintances, through social networking sites such as Facebook is a different sort of thing.

Match.com or some of the other dating sites, where you briefly communicate with someone then start dating, also not what we are talking about here.

Let me be more specific and give a clear example of the type of relationship I am addressing here. http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/11/14/second.life.divorce/index.html
The really "special" thing about this story, Second Life, the virtual world featured here, is also a community that is very involved in Amnesty International, Global Warming Initiatives, Peace World Movement, some rather high minded stuff...you would think that it might have struck the creators that giving the avatars the ability to have sex (yes, the avatars can physically have sex and you can guide them through the motions, one of my author friends is an admin for the site and she has gone into great detail explaining for me) would at some point diminish the overall point of the site.

World of Warcraft, many relationships have blossomed between gamers.

Twitter, can you fall for someone in 140 characters or less? I dare say it is happening, over and over.

Chat rooms and online games are still flooded by lonely people who are hooking up and meeting up. With mobile access to their online sites, people never lose touch with their cyber loves. They feel as if they are tethered to one another, that final step to being together as natural as going to the grocery store.

But what happens when the fairy tale is over? When your on the doorstep. What happens when 6' tall is 5'8" and 180 lbs is really 215 lbs. When "likes to read poetry in bed" really just meant "likes to read the comics from this morning's paper"? What if that basement apartment happens to be under his mother's house? What about that wonderful surprise visit you decided to make after all this time only to have the door opened by the woman he's been married to for 15 years?

The real world is the Wicked playground. We are social creatures, if you aren't by nature, develop it, ease yourself into it, slowly force yourself. It provides you a safety net you will come to appreciate. The internet is a fun place to visit, but you don't want to live here, think of it as Mexico (sorry, but it's true, let's face it, no one wants to live in Mexico)

As for generations to come meeting their true loves online, maybe dating services will continue in popularity, but people inherently lie when given the opportunity, they just can't seem to fucking stop themselves, so no, I don't see the chatroom, game scene, virtual world becoming the "new" social mecca for hookups! That is the final Wicked Word on this one.